How to kill time in office

So, This one’s for all you hapless poor souls desperately wanting some help on a rather serious issue which others might term as a joke i.e. “Afterall how to kill time in the office.”
I know this cannot be a joke because I’ve seen many talented fellows fully laced with technical expertise and sitting idle in this great Indian IT industry and getting frustrated to the point of committing suicide.

When I initially thought about writing it I thought not many would actually need it or like it. But then when I talked to a very high profile manager and he said- “Everyone knows that no one actually is productive at work, some are just better at pretending they do.”
That triggered off the thought in me. And I asked him how can one do it. He replied- “Waste time constructively without getting busted by the boss.”
I know this is easier said than done. That’s why once I received so many comments and requests to write on this topic even I was clueless. So I got into touch with some of the best in this art( mind you, some of them are at very high posts in reputed firms) and took their inputs which I’m summarizing along with my experiences:

This suggestion was given to me by a senior guy in my office only-

1. Hold a huge stack of papers and go to the photocopy machine.
2. Go to the toilet.
3. Slowly zip your pants.
4. Walk to the photocopy machine.
5. Pretend as if you forgot to take your file or something.
6. Walk back to your table.
7. Stop by your colleagues' tables and start chatting about yesterdays match.
8. Stroll back to your desk.
9. Pretend to search for your file.
10. Ooh! You found on your table!
11. Stroll back to the photocopy machine.
12. Switch on the machine.
13. Go to the toilet.
14. Zip your pants slowly

Another friend of mine who works in a consultancy firm in Gurgaon actually had some really practical tips to avoid getting noticed while killing time:

1 Walk really fast when you are going anywhere as to appear something important is going to happen.
2 Carry a notebook with you at all times. Seems like you are supposed to be somewhere taking notes. If at your desk keep it open with a pen on it.
3 Shuffle papers and sigh loudly.
4 Look pissed off / stare at your computer, ruffling your hair.
5 Put up a do not disturb sign when you are browsing the web.
6 Continually click on a pen.


Well those were some wise comments. I personally believe that along with all the suggestions commented out by the people, you should also focus on some creative activity which actually helps you in the longer run. Getting a membership of an article portal and reading atleast one a day will not only keep you engaged but help you increase your awareness and knowledge about so many different aspects of life and nature. Try solving a puzzle a day. Will keep your mind healthy. Indulge in your hobbies and utilize the internet in a more useful context than chatting.
Use time productively even if you don’t have any work. Because as some wise man has said-“If you kill time today, Time will kill you tomorrow”
So take it as a blessing and use it to your advantage. Coz you never know when will your boss catch you reading such stupid blogs at office and from the next day you do not have any free time to breathe forget about killing.
And then you’ll ask me to write on “ How to make 25 hours out of the 24 hours”

We.. The Engineers

Recently I’ve been bombarded with some silly engineers joke. Well I’ll have to say them silly. After all I’m an engineer at heart. Sample this:

Take 1
Two engineering students were walking across campus when onesaid, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
"The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
Take 2
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah.
If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."
Take 3
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude! "
The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him." [dramatic pause]
"Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens-keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire-fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"

Ouch!!
Traditionally engineers have been viewed as geeks or nerds who do nothing but study strange kinds of things and manufacture big machines and buildings. Even nowadays when some coaching institute puts up an ad showing engineering aspirants they would put up posters of people with formal boring shirts and a metallic cap which the mechanics wear in garages. Whereas the doctors they’ll show are all smart and dashing with matching colourful shirts inside their white aprons.
I mean why such discrimination against engineers. They would make serials like sanjeevani and dhadkan for doctors. Do only doctors have the charm to woo girls. And engineers are all boring people found glued to their computer screens or buried inside a pile of machines.
Come on, engineers are not like that. At least not what I’ve seen and known.
Then who are engineers and what are engineers. Well understanding this species is extremely difficult. However the common characteristics are:
Extreme
Whatever they do has to be on an extreme. No study for the 4-5 months of the semester and no sleep for the 4-5 days before the exams. The same student who you’ll find with his torn jeans and the college t-shirt jumping out of the class(or rather bunking out of the class), impressing the panel of interviewers from the very best companies of the world.
The same stud whom you found half-conscious and fully drunk lying outside the hostel gate in the garden, can stun a gathering full of scholars while delivering a speech on consiousness.
Adaptive
Engineering students are supposed to be the most indisciplined and rude fellows on campus who are always clumsily dressed. But what happens to these guys/gals when they hit the corporate floor. They are the most smartly dressed people and present the face of India Inc.
They are as comfortable in the college-side khokha(dhaba) eating maggy sitting on the mat as they are while having lunch with their clients in a 5-star hotel.
Matter-of-factly
The 4 years of engineering teaches engineers how to learn. Learn different concepts, languages, techniques and anything else. Engineers are basically learners. Engineers doing well in CAT and other entrances are not because they are engineers but because they are good learners and can adapt to the changing situations.

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

The Irony of Independence Day

Independence Day is here. So people, let’s get out our tri-colored t-shirts, paint our faces (and bodies) with the colors of our motherland, drink a bottle of Zinda dil Pepsi, listen to the Prime Minister’s soul-stirring call to the nation not to get down on its knees for terrorists, cheer for the “Men In Blue” against England (yeah We finally managed to beat them in their own backyards), SMS “Go India” to Bharat TV for a chance to win a year’s supply of Pizza Hut pizza, watch the DVD of “Gadar” if the cricket match gets washed out and then, no matter what happens, go and watch “Chak De India” in the evening (since it’s a crime to waste a holiday without Shahrukh Khan).
I am an Indian. A real Indian. A patriotic one. I support the Indian cricket team regardless of whether Ganguly or Dravid is the captain (unlike some people who shall remain nameless). Whenever I hear “Aye mere watan ke logon” I stand up and try to hold the hand of the person next to me. And I invariably have a Raymond’s “complete man” sensitive moment as tears flow down my cheeks to the tune of the song, my mind flooded with the memories of all those jawans and kisans who have laid down their lives for their country. I make it a point to forward any mail I get about the achievements of India, speeches of Narayana Murthy, Vote for Taj etc. And for Independence day, I play only patriotic songs on my computer—-only not Anu Malik’s “We love you Oh India, tujhe na chorenge” cause that’s so horrid I believe that the Pakistani ISI paid for it.
However even on such a nice day, some people just don’t “get it”. You know the type—those that try to find logic in Hindi movies, who think Manoj Kumar hams, who write ” You” instead of “U”, those who say the the tri-colour flag should not be used to make garments and stuff. Come on people..look at U.S. How much they show their love for the country by wearing their flag all across the body. We’re only asking for garments.
These people, while acknowledging the economic progress India has made in 60 years, spoil the festive mood by pointing out that 600 farmers committed suicide in the Vidarbha region last year (a fact that the media and Indians in general don’t really seem to care about) and idiotically ask if this is the caring India our freedom-fighters (even the word “freedom fighter” gets me teary-eyed) fought for. Farmers dying–who cares—I prefer to see a boy being rescued from a well, thank you.
Now, Kisans—they a different thing—I can lay down my life for them. Smiling like Aamir Khan’s character in “Rang De Basanti”.
These “kabab-main-haddi”s also question the fact that we live in a truly independent country— a country where the government can ban media they feel target their ideology and where the government can seize the equipment of broadcasters they feel are not transmitting in the “public interest” (i.e. their interest). They feel it reminds them of the 1920s/30s/40s when the Queen’s government imposed media blackouts and used draconian laws on anyone who disagreed with the masters. Frankly if you ask me, as long as the government does not censor “Kkusum” and “Kahani Ghar ghar ki” and allows me to vote for my favourite “Indian Idol” I think it is doing more than enough to maintain my freedom and my ability to exercise free will. The so-called doubters can kiss #$ @#$.
Of course there is much not to like about India. Don’t get me wrong—there are still injustices. Like how Indians are treated shabbily by these bastardly foreigners —-see how Shilpa Shetty was “physically and mentally” harassed by the Big Brother house . A keen student of history, I am reminded of the time one Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi was physically and mentally harassed by a racist ticket collector in South Africa. And how he reacted ! By stripping down to a langoti, quitting his profession as a lawyer and arousing the nation into revolutionary action. I sincerely hope that this experience triggers something similar in Shilpa . The nation will be aroused automatically (no pun intended).
The other problems about India I can think of, off-hand, would be how our cricket team lacks a genuine all-rounder, the endless traffic jams and bad road conditions, snotty desi girls who don’t reply to my offers of “franship” and traitor Indians who don’t “report as bogus” all those “I hate India ” communities on orkut despite my repeated mails.
I mean how any Indian can tolerate an insult to his motherland and not try to stifle the voice of her enemies, by twisting their windpipes, is just beyond me.
Whenever I say all this, those same people again come up and tell me that it is precisely because of this attitude (My attitude, they question,eh), that we as a country have not been able to become as “independent” as we should have been.
But as I said before, these people just do not understand the “passion” behind being Indian. Obviously, they deserve to be shot.
Anyways forgive my display of emotion. After all it’s my country. And today is the day it became independent. So let the expressions flow.
Jai Jawan. Jai Kisan. Jai Hind.
And don’t forget the Pepsi.

Are you a rat running a rat race

Do you curse your manager everytime he passes by you for earning more than you by working less? Do you keep on waiting for the calendar to change for the next month for your account to get incremented by a fixed number.. well almost fixed after that appraisal period too. Do you regret why you joined this damn company and while others of your batch have moved ahead and you are left behind. Do you close your eyes every night after a day full of reading emails and chatting and working for the 10% of the time you are paid for. And then again get up in the morning to rush against the snarling traffic towards your office. Well my dear you show every symptom of a rat running a rat race.
And the only way out is to move out of the race coz the tragedy of rat race is even if you win you still remain in the rat race. Sorry for using the cliché but that’s true.
Moving out of the rat race doesn’t necessarily mean quitting the job. Moving out means detachment from the web of the daily chores & excessive involvement in mundane tasks. But staying focused towards your duties and responsibilities. Very much like Krishna preaches in Bhagwad Gita- ‘Stay like a lotus petal in pond.. wet yet dry. Involved yet detached.’

I know it’s not as simple as it sounds but let’s first understand the problem.The problem arises when you start comparing yourself with others and succumb to peer pressure. You always like to reach to the other person’s position(obviously if he’s at a higher level) by just looking at the face value of his position and ignoring your strengths and weaknesses. You always want to be appreciated by others, approved by others. You have always believed that the better people feel about you, the better you can feel about yourself. However, you may have never really considered that the opposite of this belief must hold equally and unhappily true, and that is: The less you are approved by others, the more alone and uncertain you feel. This helps to explain why you think you have to please people as well as why you resent those you feel you must please. Being approved by others has become a strange kind of life-support system wherein, after a lifetime of depending on it, you unconsciously believe that there won't be life without someone there to approve you into existence. Just the opposite is true. The more you depend on others to confirm you to yourself, the less real life you have of your own.
It is our fear of being alone and in doubt, of wanting to feel certain that what we are doing is right, that compels us to seek the approval of others. So this tells us that the chief cause of why our lives so often wind up in the hands of others is not that they are superior or that the world is too strong for us, but that we don't want to face the uncertainty and aloneness that we think we are too weak to bear. This is the real cause of all of our wrong relationships in life: We have been betrayed by a belief in our own weakness. And unless we overcome ourselves we’ll continue to find ourselves in the rat race- running towards an unknown goal.

The conscious refusal to go along with your weakness is what invokes and finally delivers real inner-strength. This new kind of strength gradually becomes the cornerstone of a true individual existence -- the life you've always wanted. This may sound philosophical. The stakes are actually eternal -- but self-victory is as certain as the fact that light always triumphs over darkness. If you will stay in the middle of this struggle for true self-possession, not asserting your individuality but allowing it to flourish and to blossom -- bearing what you must bear by refusing to submit yourself to negative, self-betraying influences -- you will come to know the highest approval that Life can award. You won't be jealous of anyone coz you know you'll definitely get what you deserve. Reality itself will approve you. And when it does, all of your struggles (and races) will become a thing of the past. You will possess yourself. No one around you will suspect that you now live in a new kind of bright inner-world; a world that is always on your terms because your terms and the terms of this happy new inner-world are never in conflict. You have won the race. You have won your own life.

Avoiding Conflict at Work

As you stand to take a plunge into the corporate world away from the comforting company of your friends and well wishers of college days, you may well find yourself dealing with people who are just not your type. And when it comes to working in a team you are bound to face conflicts.
We rely on and spend more time with our colleagues than with most other people in our lives: yet we frequently experience conflict at work. In a way it’s obvious and in a way ironical.
Conflict is such a broad term for what can be experienced, ranging from office gossip to outright being physically aggressive. In nearly every single office there are always going to be personality clashes at some point, and most of the time they will be fairly easily sorted out. However,
sometimes they aren't and there is often no other option than to resign.
The real problem underlying this situation is that people really don't have the skills to deal with these kinds of situations. They frequently accept the problem when it is happening and then get really upset afterwards. I don’t say that you’ll come out winners every time but the five ways in which you can perhaps come out of the tricky situation are:

1. Avoidance (also can be known as Ignoring (I Lose / You Lose)) This is the most frequently used strategy along with accommodation. Here conflict is avoided by simply refusing to engage in the situation.

Example: Someone making a sly comment and the person it was aimed at simply walks
away. While this obviously is not a good way of dealing with conflict the majority of the time as it tends not to help, it is worth being considered as a strategy for when the conflict is just not worth the effort of being addressed.

2. Accommodation (also can be know as Looking Good (I Lose / You Win)) Here you take the conflict and submit.

Example: Listening to unhelpful criticism and believing it. Again, very frequently used especially where there is low confidence and self-esteem. This is another not very successful method of dealing with conflict, but it will do if you know that there is a solution coming soon.

3. Compete (I Win / You Lose)
This one means that you play the person at his or her own game and work hard to get your own way in the conflict.

Example: Someone starts spreading rumors about you, so you do the same in return in an attempt to discredit the power of the other person's word. This can be very useful when the conflict is mild and you are passionate about your stance, but can lead to a vicious circle as the conflict escalates. Be very sure you want to use this strategy as lowering yourself
to someone else's level rarely shows you in the best light.

4. Compromise (Illusion of I Win / You Win but not in real sense)

It’s more of an adjustment from both the sides....but the pinch is still there. A much more useful tactic to use. Here you don't give in to the conflict, but work out a solution somewhere between the two sides.

Example: Someone delegates a huge amount of work to your already over-filled plate, you respond by taking on some of it, and then recommending that this person parcel out the rest to other people. This is the strategy of choice for most untrained managers as this is how we frequently deal with children in real life - and so it is a behavior we all know about. This can of course lead to the obvious downfall of the actual solution leaving none of the sides happy. This is best to use when the goal is to get past the issue and move on - with the issue having relatively little significance.

5. Collaborate (Actually I Win / You Win)

This is the most effective and correct strategy to follow. You start working on Alternative Options. The most useful tactic, particularly with extremes of conflict such as bullying. The aim here is to focus on working together to arrive at a solution, where both sides have ownership of and commitment to the solution.

Example 1: You and someone else are at completely opposed viewpoints over a project.
You sit down with them and work out why they believe in their point of view, and explain your own. Clever and lateral thinking can provide a solution, which answers both sides, but is not a compromise.

Example 2: Someone is bullying you at work. You talk to this person and collaborate
on modifying his behavior.

Use this strategy when the goal is to meet as many of the current needs as is possible. It’s the most difficult strategy if confidence is low as it involves actually naming the issue to the conflict-creator, which can cause huge anxiety and fear.
To collaborate successfully on an issue such as continuing conflict you need to follow few basic guidelines.

You must recognize that part of the problem is your own fault: you allowed it to happen and did not try to address it to begin with. You can use this aloud and actively take part of the responsibility, as this will put the onus onto the other person to take the other part of the responsibility. Remember that we frequently don't like in others what we don't want to see in ourselves, but find occasionally anyway. Be very sure that you have not committed the same conflict and that you do not in the future.

Manage yourself during the resolution attempt - learn calming strategies if you are hot-tempered or confidence boosters if you are shy. Do not to be emotional, as emotion will only make things escalate.
Don't believe that the best defence is a good offence - that is part of the Competing strategy.
Work the issue, not the person: this means addressing the behavior rather than the entire existence of that person. There is a different level of ownership for behaviors, and people will take less offence if you criticize their behavior than if you criticize them personally.

Never lay blame, as this will only fan the fires. If you are not getting anywhere, ask for further information from the other person about the reasons for their behavior, but don't ask the
questions with 'why' at the beginning - if you do this will actively put the other person under the spotlight and they will get defensive.
Remember above all, that people who enjoy creating conflict are ultimately power-seekers who enjoy controlling others. Frequently this is because either they have suffered in a similar way before or feel that they have very little control over their own lives and does anything they can to feel in control. A little compassion will take you a long way both in resolving the situation and in putting it behind you when it is resolved. One of the most important strategies for collaboration is to start "Listening First".

IIM-B revelation dissected

A top secret, highly classified document has just been released. Not by the CIA, but IIM Bangalore. The cloaked in mystery, super secret selection procedure to one of the most elite management institutes in the country is now a matter of public record. A 5 page document outlining exactly how IIM B admits candidates into its flagship 2 year PGP program is now available on the institute website.All those of you giving CAT this year will no doubt be excited by the contents of the release. Like the CAT RC section, it's a bit of a daze to read so let me sum up what it says:
PHASE 1
a) Stage 1 shortlist: This is prepared solely on the basis of performance in CAT. You need to achieve certain minimum cut offs in each section. Of course these cut offs vary from year to year, depending on how test takers have performed as a whole.No big surprise here, we've kind of known this.
b) Stage 2 shortlist: Here is the real bombshell.For all candidates in the first shortlist as stated in Table 1, the weighted total of the five components namely (a) work experience or professional course, (b) CAT, (c) 10th board, (d) 12th board, (e) bachelor’s as stated above was used to prepare a pre-GDPI rank list for calling candidates for the GDPI.
This means having a high CAT score is not enough to get an interview call to IIM B. Your past academic performance matters a hell of a lot.
How much? Well, the weightage is as follows:
CAT = 20
10th board=15
12th board=10
Bachelors= 15.
(If you have not completed Bachelor's your marks in undergrad years will be considered instead).
Weightage for work experience and/ or professional course was assigned as 10. Interestingly, CA is the ONLY professional course eligible for weight under the criteria 'professional course'.
And the formula for work ex gives the highest score to candidates with an experience of 36 months duration.
Thus the profile of the candidate most likely to get a call from IIM B is as follows:
* High CAT score, cleared all sectional cut offs
* Consistent academic performance across 10th, 12th and graduation.
* 1-3 years work experience.
* A CA with good CAT scores and impressive academic record could have a small advantage.

PHASE 2
For each of the three elements of evaluation during the GDPI process – Group Discussion, Group Discussion Summary, Personal Interview - the average of the scores given by the two interviewing faculty was considered.
Weights as follows:
GD score - 7.5
G D summary - 7.5
Personal Interview - 20

Frankly, I never knew 'G D Summary' was important! During the interview 'work experience quality' is evaluated on a 5 point scale (0 – 0.5 – 1 – 1.5 – 2) by each member of the panel. The average quality of work experience score was multiplied by the pre-GDPI work experience score and accordingly revised in Phase 2.The Group Discussion score, Group Discussion Summary score, Personal Interview score, after standardization within interview panels, were added to the pre-GDPI total (with revisions in Work Ex Score, if any) to arrive at the final aggregate score.And that is the basis of the final ranks. The 'total' scores were out of 105.

My observations:
The subject of deepest debate is- the amount of importance it gives to 'consistent and high performance in past academics'. This makes your class 10 boards one of the most crucial milestones in life!
The coaching class guys will have a lot of explaining to do. No matter how well you do in the present ie in clearing CAT, your past can and will will drag you down!
In the final analysis I would say IIMs are designed to attract well rounded geeks. But emphasis on the geek aspect is higher, the well rounded bit a happy coincidence.
There are a lot of 'been a topper throughout my life' on these campuses. The exam and subsequent process is designed to admit this profile.The IIMs and the CAT were always considered to be the best filter that separates out the true gems from the book worms. The emphasis was always on the aptitude and the presence of mind of the student rather than the amount of hours he’s put in throughout his school and college life. On one hand we are talking of providing the ‘real’ education and not just bookish learning. And on the other we are motivating students to become bigger book worms.
I may be sounding a bit critical of the toppers. But it’s actually a voice for the underperformers who just do not know the art of scoring in exam papers like all the toppers do but have nonetheless the same or may be more mettle to be in the IIMs.
And on a more philosophical note, I wonder when we will be freed of past patterns of thinking. Yes, the past can predict the future but it can also constrain it. The 'yesterday predicts tomorrow' line of thinking discounts the power of the human spirit to achieve and overcome, to rise to new challenges.

Regardless of what IIM B might say, you gotta shed the baggage of the past, live in the present and dream for the future!