The Beginners Guide to the Corporate World

So You are ready to take a plunge into the big-bad corporate world. Well, thought my small stint at the office and studying them closely might just be of any help to you.
A few days back I completed 1 year in the industry and the few lessons which I learned in the process are definitely true for any industry you land in and will surely be beneficial to you all. The lessons:
Learn to say no
When I started working, I was very eager to please. This meant that I had a hard time saying no to things people asked of me. I tried to work a lot, and still didn’t finish everything that was asked of me. The result was disappointment from their side, and almost burning out on my part.
If you never say no, your yes is worth very little. Commit to what you can handle, and if people keep asking you for more, make it very explicit that this would mean not doing something else. What I did was to have a list of stuff that I needed to do on a piece of paper with me. When someone asked for something, I showed them the list and asked what I should bump to have time to help them. This allowed me to say no in a nice way.
Communication
And that’s communication with persons, not socket programming. Now and then you do run into a tricky technical problem, but it’s not at all that common. Much more common is misunderstandings between you and the project manager, between you and the customer and finally between you and your colleagues. Work on your soft skills.
If everything is equally important, then nothing is importantThe business likes to say that all the features are as crucial. They are not. Push back and make them commit. It’s easier if you don’t force them to pick what to do and what not to do. Instead, let them choose what you should do this week. This will let you produce the stuff that brings value first. If all else goes haywire, at least you’ve done that.
Don’t over-think a problem
I can spend whole days designing things in front of the white board. That doesn’t mean it will be any better, it just means it will be more complicated. I don’t mean to say you shouldn’t design at all, just that the implementation will quickly show me stuff I didn’t think of anyway, so why try to make it perfect?

Object Oriented Designing is not easy!
Maybe it’s just me, but coming from Computer Science class I thought that OO was easy. The highest marks-fetcher and the dumbest teacher used to teach the subject. I mean, how hard can it be to create classes that mimic the real world? It turns out that it’s pretty hard. One year later, I’m still learning how to model properly and see the relationships between different tables. I wish I spent more time reading up on OO and design patterns. Good modeling skills are worth a lot to every development team.

Learn about the other parts of the software development machine
It’s really important to be a great developer. But to be a great part of the system that produces software, you need to understand what the rest of the system does. How do the QA people work? What does the project manager do? What drives the business analyst? This knowledge will help you connect with the rest of the people, and will grease interactions with them. Ask the people around you for help in learning more. What books are good? Most people will be flattered that you care, and willingly help you out. A little time on this goes a really long way.

Your colleagues are your best teachers
An year after I started on my first job, I was moved to another team. Suddenly I had a lot of much more talented and experienced people around me. I remember distinctly how this made me feel inferior and stupid. I studied hard, reading book after book but I still didn’t catch up. No matter how much you try to read and search, the knowledge which your colleagues can give you is invaluable and you will never find in any teaching manual. I ask questions and I try really hard to understand how my colleagues come to the conclusions they do. See your peers as an asset, not competition.
It all comes down to working software
No matter how cool your algorithms are, no matter how brilliant your database schema is, no matter how fabulous your whatever is, if it doesn’t scratch the clients’ itch, it’s not worth anything. Focus on delivering working software, and at the same time prepare to continue delivering software using that code base and you’re on the right path.

Some people are assholes
Most of the time, most of the people around you are great. You learn from them, and they learn from you. Accomplishing something together is a good feeling. Unfortunately, you will probably run into the exceptions. People that because of something or other are plain old mean. Demeaning bosses. Lying colleagues. Stupid, ignorant customers. Don’t take this too hard. Try to work around them and do what you can to minimize the pain and effort they cause, but don’t blame yourself. As long as you stay honest and do your best, you’ve done your part.

What am I going to do with the rest of my life?

I don’t know whether only I get such weird thoughts in my mind or is it the human mind which is designed in such a way to keep cropping such questions which I faced some time back. Assuming myself to be a very normal person I think it’s pretty normal for people to think on these lines. This one’s for all you normal(!) souls.
I may not answer this question on your behalf but you may at least find some path which might lead to making your life as meaningful and bright as your friends and professors wished you in your college farewell.
Help yourself draw a map
Too often, when faced with a major (or even not so major) life decision, we tend to either take the first decent choice that presents itself or we allow circumstances to choose for us by default - putting off the decision until the inexorable current of life sweeps us past the turning point. As you can imagine, this is not the best way to get what you want out of life. But the options we are faced with in life can be so wildly divergent, or so deceptively similar, that it is difficult to know which turning to take. Wouldn't it be great if we had some kind of road map that would help us know which paths to follow and which to pass by?
Below are five questions that everybody should ask himself or herself before starting out on any new path. The answers to these questions should then be used to guide decisions and to direct actions - when a choice comes up, simply compare the various options with your stated desires and choose the option that takes you closer to (or at least moves you the least farthest away from) your destination - your stated goals and desires.
1. What does success mean to me?
Be very specific. "I want to be rich," is not an answer - just what does "rich" mean, anyway? Are you thinking of a set number? And if so, why? Or is the term "rich" a substitute for certain freedoms and opportunities that you view as coming only with money - and by limiting them to being accessed only through money, are you missing out on other alternative pathways?
Some more specific alternatives to "I want to be rich," depending on the individual, might be: "I want to have enough net income to meet my current financial responsibilities without strain, plus have time and money left over for travel," or "I want to be able to comfortably afford a jet-setting lifestyle in New York City," or "I want to spend 4 days a week at home with my kids," etc.
You should try to come up with at least three answers to the question of what success really means to you personally, with each one reflecting a different facet of what you feel makes up a truly successful life. And keep the money issue to just one statement - after all, such things as personal fulfillment, spiritual meaning and other essential needs and values cannot be solved, acquired or even influenced by money
One of the biggest obstacles to success is that most of us have never consciously explored what that means to us, aside from some vague and nebulous idea of fame, fortune or other worldly success. Knowing what success really means to you - what you hope or imagine that these generic definitions of success would actually provide and how you want those things to physically look like in your life - allows you to weigh your choices more accurately.
2. What are my non-negotiable needs?
List all the things that you envision as inescapable parameters of a successful and enjoyable life. Family, travel, no debt, pleasant work environment, social status, contributions to society, spiritual involvement, public acclaim, love, excitement, comfort - any or all of these, and any others you can think of are legitimate needs that when not met create an environment of stress, want and disempowerment in your life. Knowing what you are not willing to do without makes the relative values of different options clearer.
3. What are my non-negotiable boundaries?
List all the things that you absolutely do not want present in your life. If the idea of working in a standard hierarchical office environment makes you ill, put that down. If you can't stand the thought of living in a cold climate, add that to the list. If being poked fun at about your physical condition or other attributes makes life unlivable, note that as well. By knowing what you will not tolerate, many choices become much easier to make. Plus, it allows you to set down rules and policies about who and what you will invite into your life and the standards of behavior you will, and will not, tolerate.
4. What are my key values?
Spend some time searching your soul to come up with a list of your basic values, creating a life around which would make you the person you want to be and allow you to live the life you want to live. Are you the type who values honesty, clean/green living and a deep love of nature above all things? Or are you more of a 'comforts of home', family and fun kind of person? Do you value charity over letting others find their way on their own, or is it the other way around? Knowing what you truly stand for is a vital component of good decision-making.
5. What do I want to be remembered for?
What legacy do you want to leave here when you pass on? What do you want people to say about your life and you as a person? What do you want to be known for? What would you like your obituary to say about you? Knowing where you want to end up makes choosing the path to get there, and keeping track of your progress, infinitely easier.

If you can find the answer of all these questions you’ll see that till now you were a stranger to the person living inside you. And will see many things still to be done which you’ve always wanted to do. So what’s stopping you.
Life is really not so complicated as we make it to be. What’s needed is to know what you want from your life. Explore it yourself and live it yourself..

We.. The Engineers

Recently I’ve been bombarded with some silly engineers joke. Well I’ll have to say them silly. After all I’m an engineer at heart. Sample this:

Take 1
Two engineering students were walking across campus when onesaid, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
"The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
Take 2
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah.
If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."
Take 3
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude! "
The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him." [dramatic pause]
"Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens-keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire-fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"

Ouch!!
Traditionally engineers have been viewed as geeks or nerds who do nothing but study strange kinds of things and manufacture big machines and buildings. Even nowadays when some coaching institute puts up an ad showing engineering aspirants they would put up posters of people with formal boring shirts and a metallic cap which the mechanics wear in garages. Whereas the doctors they’ll show are all smart and dashing with matching colourful shirts inside their white aprons.
I mean why such discrimination against engineers. They would make serials like sanjeevani and dhadkan for doctors. Do only doctors have the charm to woo girls. And engineers are all boring people found glued to their computer screens or buried inside a pile of machines.
Come on, engineers are not like that. At least not what I’ve seen and known.
Then who are engineers and what are engineers. Well understanding this species is extremely difficult. However the common characteristics are:
Extreme
Whatever they do has to be on an extreme. No study for the 4-5 months of the semester and no sleep for the 4-5 days before the exams. The same student who you’ll find with his torn jeans and the college t-shirt jumping out of the class(or rather bunking out of the class), impressing the panel of interviewers from the very best companies of the world.
The same stud whom you found half-conscious and fully drunk lying outside the hostel gate in the garden, can stun a gathering full of scholars while delivering a speech on consiousness.
Adaptive
Engineering students are supposed to be the most indisciplined and rude fellows on campus who are always clumsily dressed. But what happens to these guys/gals when they hit the corporate floor. They are the most smartly dressed people and present the face of India Inc.
They are as comfortable in the college-side khokha(dhaba) eating maggy sitting on the mat as they are while having lunch with their clients in a 5-star hotel.
Matter-of-factly
The 4 years of engineering teaches engineers how to learn. Learn different concepts, languages, techniques and anything else. Engineers are basically learners. Engineers doing well in CAT and other entrances are not because they are engineers but because they are good learners and can adapt to the changing situations.

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.