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The Beginners Guide to the Corporate World

So You are ready to take a plunge into the big-bad corporate world. Well, thought my small stint at the office and studying them closely might just be of any help to you.
A few days back I completed 1 year in the industry and the few lessons which I learned in the process are definitely true for any industry you land in and will surely be beneficial to you all. The lessons:
Learn to say no
When I started working, I was very eager to please. This meant that I had a hard time saying no to things people asked of me. I tried to work a lot, and still didn’t finish everything that was asked of me. The result was disappointment from their side, and almost burning out on my part.
If you never say no, your yes is worth very little. Commit to what you can handle, and if people keep asking you for more, make it very explicit that this would mean not doing something else. What I did was to have a list of stuff that I needed to do on a piece of paper with me. When someone asked for something, I showed them the list and asked what I should bump to have time to help them. This allowed me to say no in a nice way.
Communication
And that’s communication with persons, not socket programming. Now and then you do run into a tricky technical problem, but it’s not at all that common. Much more common is misunderstandings between you and the project manager, between you and the customer and finally between you and your colleagues. Work on your soft skills.
If everything is equally important, then nothing is importantThe business likes to say that all the features are as crucial. They are not. Push back and make them commit. It’s easier if you don’t force them to pick what to do and what not to do. Instead, let them choose what you should do this week. This will let you produce the stuff that brings value first. If all else goes haywire, at least you’ve done that.
Don’t over-think a problem
I can spend whole days designing things in front of the white board. That doesn’t mean it will be any better, it just means it will be more complicated. I don’t mean to say you shouldn’t design at all, just that the implementation will quickly show me stuff I didn’t think of anyway, so why try to make it perfect?

Object Oriented Designing is not easy!
Maybe it’s just me, but coming from Computer Science class I thought that OO was easy. The highest marks-fetcher and the dumbest teacher used to teach the subject. I mean, how hard can it be to create classes that mimic the real world? It turns out that it’s pretty hard. One year later, I’m still learning how to model properly and see the relationships between different tables. I wish I spent more time reading up on OO and design patterns. Good modeling skills are worth a lot to every development team.

Learn about the other parts of the software development machine
It’s really important to be a great developer. But to be a great part of the system that produces software, you need to understand what the rest of the system does. How do the QA people work? What does the project manager do? What drives the business analyst? This knowledge will help you connect with the rest of the people, and will grease interactions with them. Ask the people around you for help in learning more. What books are good? Most people will be flattered that you care, and willingly help you out. A little time on this goes a really long way.

Your colleagues are your best teachers
An year after I started on my first job, I was moved to another team. Suddenly I had a lot of much more talented and experienced people around me. I remember distinctly how this made me feel inferior and stupid. I studied hard, reading book after book but I still didn’t catch up. No matter how much you try to read and search, the knowledge which your colleagues can give you is invaluable and you will never find in any teaching manual. I ask questions and I try really hard to understand how my colleagues come to the conclusions they do. See your peers as an asset, not competition.
It all comes down to working software
No matter how cool your algorithms are, no matter how brilliant your database schema is, no matter how fabulous your whatever is, if it doesn’t scratch the clients’ itch, it’s not worth anything. Focus on delivering working software, and at the same time prepare to continue delivering software using that code base and you’re on the right path.

Some people are assholes
Most of the time, most of the people around you are great. You learn from them, and they learn from you. Accomplishing something together is a good feeling. Unfortunately, you will probably run into the exceptions. People that because of something or other are plain old mean. Demeaning bosses. Lying colleagues. Stupid, ignorant customers. Don’t take this too hard. Try to work around them and do what you can to minimize the pain and effort they cause, but don’t blame yourself. As long as you stay honest and do your best, you’ve done your part.

What am I going to do with the rest of my life?

I don’t know whether only I get such weird thoughts in my mind or is it the human mind which is designed in such a way to keep cropping such questions which I faced some time back. Assuming myself to be a very normal person I think it’s pretty normal for people to think on these lines. This one’s for all you normal(!) souls.
I may not answer this question on your behalf but you may at least find some path which might lead to making your life as meaningful and bright as your friends and professors wished you in your college farewell.
Help yourself draw a map
Too often, when faced with a major (or even not so major) life decision, we tend to either take the first decent choice that presents itself or we allow circumstances to choose for us by default - putting off the decision until the inexorable current of life sweeps us past the turning point. As you can imagine, this is not the best way to get what you want out of life. But the options we are faced with in life can be so wildly divergent, or so deceptively similar, that it is difficult to know which turning to take. Wouldn't it be great if we had some kind of road map that would help us know which paths to follow and which to pass by?
Below are five questions that everybody should ask himself or herself before starting out on any new path. The answers to these questions should then be used to guide decisions and to direct actions - when a choice comes up, simply compare the various options with your stated desires and choose the option that takes you closer to (or at least moves you the least farthest away from) your destination - your stated goals and desires.
1. What does success mean to me?
Be very specific. "I want to be rich," is not an answer - just what does "rich" mean, anyway? Are you thinking of a set number? And if so, why? Or is the term "rich" a substitute for certain freedoms and opportunities that you view as coming only with money - and by limiting them to being accessed only through money, are you missing out on other alternative pathways?
Some more specific alternatives to "I want to be rich," depending on the individual, might be: "I want to have enough net income to meet my current financial responsibilities without strain, plus have time and money left over for travel," or "I want to be able to comfortably afford a jet-setting lifestyle in New York City," or "I want to spend 4 days a week at home with my kids," etc.
You should try to come up with at least three answers to the question of what success really means to you personally, with each one reflecting a different facet of what you feel makes up a truly successful life. And keep the money issue to just one statement - after all, such things as personal fulfillment, spiritual meaning and other essential needs and values cannot be solved, acquired or even influenced by money
One of the biggest obstacles to success is that most of us have never consciously explored what that means to us, aside from some vague and nebulous idea of fame, fortune or other worldly success. Knowing what success really means to you - what you hope or imagine that these generic definitions of success would actually provide and how you want those things to physically look like in your life - allows you to weigh your choices more accurately.
2. What are my non-negotiable needs?
List all the things that you envision as inescapable parameters of a successful and enjoyable life. Family, travel, no debt, pleasant work environment, social status, contributions to society, spiritual involvement, public acclaim, love, excitement, comfort - any or all of these, and any others you can think of are legitimate needs that when not met create an environment of stress, want and disempowerment in your life. Knowing what you are not willing to do without makes the relative values of different options clearer.
3. What are my non-negotiable boundaries?
List all the things that you absolutely do not want present in your life. If the idea of working in a standard hierarchical office environment makes you ill, put that down. If you can't stand the thought of living in a cold climate, add that to the list. If being poked fun at about your physical condition or other attributes makes life unlivable, note that as well. By knowing what you will not tolerate, many choices become much easier to make. Plus, it allows you to set down rules and policies about who and what you will invite into your life and the standards of behavior you will, and will not, tolerate.
4. What are my key values?
Spend some time searching your soul to come up with a list of your basic values, creating a life around which would make you the person you want to be and allow you to live the life you want to live. Are you the type who values honesty, clean/green living and a deep love of nature above all things? Or are you more of a 'comforts of home', family and fun kind of person? Do you value charity over letting others find their way on their own, or is it the other way around? Knowing what you truly stand for is a vital component of good decision-making.
5. What do I want to be remembered for?
What legacy do you want to leave here when you pass on? What do you want people to say about your life and you as a person? What do you want to be known for? What would you like your obituary to say about you? Knowing where you want to end up makes choosing the path to get there, and keeping track of your progress, infinitely easier.

If you can find the answer of all these questions you’ll see that till now you were a stranger to the person living inside you. And will see many things still to be done which you’ve always wanted to do. So what’s stopping you.
Life is really not so complicated as we make it to be. What’s needed is to know what you want from your life. Explore it yourself and live it yourself..

How to kill time in office

So, This one’s for all you hapless poor souls desperately wanting some help on a rather serious issue which others might term as a joke i.e. “Afterall how to kill time in the office.”
I know this cannot be a joke because I’ve seen many talented fellows fully laced with technical expertise and sitting idle in this great Indian IT industry and getting frustrated to the point of committing suicide.

When I initially thought about writing it I thought not many would actually need it or like it. But then when I talked to a very high profile manager and he said- “Everyone knows that no one actually is productive at work, some are just better at pretending they do.”
That triggered off the thought in me. And I asked him how can one do it. He replied- “Waste time constructively without getting busted by the boss.”
I know this is easier said than done. That’s why once I received so many comments and requests to write on this topic even I was clueless. So I got into touch with some of the best in this art( mind you, some of them are at very high posts in reputed firms) and took their inputs which I’m summarizing along with my experiences:

This suggestion was given to me by a senior guy in my office only-

1. Hold a huge stack of papers and go to the photocopy machine.
2. Go to the toilet.
3. Slowly zip your pants.
4. Walk to the photocopy machine.
5. Pretend as if you forgot to take your file or something.
6. Walk back to your table.
7. Stop by your colleagues' tables and start chatting about yesterdays match.
8. Stroll back to your desk.
9. Pretend to search for your file.
10. Ooh! You found on your table!
11. Stroll back to the photocopy machine.
12. Switch on the machine.
13. Go to the toilet.
14. Zip your pants slowly

Another friend of mine who works in a consultancy firm in Gurgaon actually had some really practical tips to avoid getting noticed while killing time:

1 Walk really fast when you are going anywhere as to appear something important is going to happen.
2 Carry a notebook with you at all times. Seems like you are supposed to be somewhere taking notes. If at your desk keep it open with a pen on it.
3 Shuffle papers and sigh loudly.
4 Look pissed off / stare at your computer, ruffling your hair.
5 Put up a do not disturb sign when you are browsing the web.
6 Continually click on a pen.


Well those were some wise comments. I personally believe that along with all the suggestions commented out by the people, you should also focus on some creative activity which actually helps you in the longer run. Getting a membership of an article portal and reading atleast one a day will not only keep you engaged but help you increase your awareness and knowledge about so many different aspects of life and nature. Try solving a puzzle a day. Will keep your mind healthy. Indulge in your hobbies and utilize the internet in a more useful context than chatting.
Use time productively even if you don’t have any work. Because as some wise man has said-“If you kill time today, Time will kill you tomorrow”
So take it as a blessing and use it to your advantage. Coz you never know when will your boss catch you reading such stupid blogs at office and from the next day you do not have any free time to breathe forget about killing.
And then you’ll ask me to write on “ How to make 25 hours out of the 24 hours”

We.. The Engineers

Recently I’ve been bombarded with some silly engineers joke. Well I’ll have to say them silly. After all I’m an engineer at heart. Sample this:

Take 1
Two engineering students were walking across campus when onesaid, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
"The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
Take 2
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah.
If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."
Take 3
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude! "
The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him." [dramatic pause]
"Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens-keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire-fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"

Ouch!!
Traditionally engineers have been viewed as geeks or nerds who do nothing but study strange kinds of things and manufacture big machines and buildings. Even nowadays when some coaching institute puts up an ad showing engineering aspirants they would put up posters of people with formal boring shirts and a metallic cap which the mechanics wear in garages. Whereas the doctors they’ll show are all smart and dashing with matching colourful shirts inside their white aprons.
I mean why such discrimination against engineers. They would make serials like sanjeevani and dhadkan for doctors. Do only doctors have the charm to woo girls. And engineers are all boring people found glued to their computer screens or buried inside a pile of machines.
Come on, engineers are not like that. At least not what I’ve seen and known.
Then who are engineers and what are engineers. Well understanding this species is extremely difficult. However the common characteristics are:
Extreme
Whatever they do has to be on an extreme. No study for the 4-5 months of the semester and no sleep for the 4-5 days before the exams. The same student who you’ll find with his torn jeans and the college t-shirt jumping out of the class(or rather bunking out of the class), impressing the panel of interviewers from the very best companies of the world.
The same stud whom you found half-conscious and fully drunk lying outside the hostel gate in the garden, can stun a gathering full of scholars while delivering a speech on consiousness.
Adaptive
Engineering students are supposed to be the most indisciplined and rude fellows on campus who are always clumsily dressed. But what happens to these guys/gals when they hit the corporate floor. They are the most smartly dressed people and present the face of India Inc.
They are as comfortable in the college-side khokha(dhaba) eating maggy sitting on the mat as they are while having lunch with their clients in a 5-star hotel.
Matter-of-factly
The 4 years of engineering teaches engineers how to learn. Learn different concepts, languages, techniques and anything else. Engineers are basically learners. Engineers doing well in CAT and other entrances are not because they are engineers but because they are good learners and can adapt to the changing situations.

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

The Irony of Independence Day

Independence Day is here. So people, let’s get out our tri-colored t-shirts, paint our faces (and bodies) with the colors of our motherland, drink a bottle of Zinda dil Pepsi, listen to the Prime Minister’s soul-stirring call to the nation not to get down on its knees for terrorists, cheer for the “Men In Blue” against England (yeah We finally managed to beat them in their own backyards), SMS “Go India” to Bharat TV for a chance to win a year’s supply of Pizza Hut pizza, watch the DVD of “Gadar” if the cricket match gets washed out and then, no matter what happens, go and watch “Chak De India” in the evening (since it’s a crime to waste a holiday without Shahrukh Khan).
I am an Indian. A real Indian. A patriotic one. I support the Indian cricket team regardless of whether Ganguly or Dravid is the captain (unlike some people who shall remain nameless). Whenever I hear “Aye mere watan ke logon” I stand up and try to hold the hand of the person next to me. And I invariably have a Raymond’s “complete man” sensitive moment as tears flow down my cheeks to the tune of the song, my mind flooded with the memories of all those jawans and kisans who have laid down their lives for their country. I make it a point to forward any mail I get about the achievements of India, speeches of Narayana Murthy, Vote for Taj etc. And for Independence day, I play only patriotic songs on my computer—-only not Anu Malik’s “We love you Oh India, tujhe na chorenge” cause that’s so horrid I believe that the Pakistani ISI paid for it.
However even on such a nice day, some people just don’t “get it”. You know the type—those that try to find logic in Hindi movies, who think Manoj Kumar hams, who write ” You” instead of “U”, those who say the the tri-colour flag should not be used to make garments and stuff. Come on people..look at U.S. How much they show their love for the country by wearing their flag all across the body. We’re only asking for garments.
These people, while acknowledging the economic progress India has made in 60 years, spoil the festive mood by pointing out that 600 farmers committed suicide in the Vidarbha region last year (a fact that the media and Indians in general don’t really seem to care about) and idiotically ask if this is the caring India our freedom-fighters (even the word “freedom fighter” gets me teary-eyed) fought for. Farmers dying–who cares—I prefer to see a boy being rescued from a well, thank you.
Now, Kisans—they a different thing—I can lay down my life for them. Smiling like Aamir Khan’s character in “Rang De Basanti”.
These “kabab-main-haddi”s also question the fact that we live in a truly independent country— a country where the government can ban media they feel target their ideology and where the government can seize the equipment of broadcasters they feel are not transmitting in the “public interest” (i.e. their interest). They feel it reminds them of the 1920s/30s/40s when the Queen’s government imposed media blackouts and used draconian laws on anyone who disagreed with the masters. Frankly if you ask me, as long as the government does not censor “Kkusum” and “Kahani Ghar ghar ki” and allows me to vote for my favourite “Indian Idol” I think it is doing more than enough to maintain my freedom and my ability to exercise free will. The so-called doubters can kiss #$ @#$.
Of course there is much not to like about India. Don’t get me wrong—there are still injustices. Like how Indians are treated shabbily by these bastardly foreigners —-see how Shilpa Shetty was “physically and mentally” harassed by the Big Brother house . A keen student of history, I am reminded of the time one Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi was physically and mentally harassed by a racist ticket collector in South Africa. And how he reacted ! By stripping down to a langoti, quitting his profession as a lawyer and arousing the nation into revolutionary action. I sincerely hope that this experience triggers something similar in Shilpa . The nation will be aroused automatically (no pun intended).
The other problems about India I can think of, off-hand, would be how our cricket team lacks a genuine all-rounder, the endless traffic jams and bad road conditions, snotty desi girls who don’t reply to my offers of “franship” and traitor Indians who don’t “report as bogus” all those “I hate India ” communities on orkut despite my repeated mails.
I mean how any Indian can tolerate an insult to his motherland and not try to stifle the voice of her enemies, by twisting their windpipes, is just beyond me.
Whenever I say all this, those same people again come up and tell me that it is precisely because of this attitude (My attitude, they question,eh), that we as a country have not been able to become as “independent” as we should have been.
But as I said before, these people just do not understand the “passion” behind being Indian. Obviously, they deserve to be shot.
Anyways forgive my display of emotion. After all it’s my country. And today is the day it became independent. So let the expressions flow.
Jai Jawan. Jai Kisan. Jai Hind.
And don’t forget the Pepsi.

Are you a rat running a rat race

Do you curse your manager everytime he passes by you for earning more than you by working less? Do you keep on waiting for the calendar to change for the next month for your account to get incremented by a fixed number.. well almost fixed after that appraisal period too. Do you regret why you joined this damn company and while others of your batch have moved ahead and you are left behind. Do you close your eyes every night after a day full of reading emails and chatting and working for the 10% of the time you are paid for. And then again get up in the morning to rush against the snarling traffic towards your office. Well my dear you show every symptom of a rat running a rat race.
And the only way out is to move out of the race coz the tragedy of rat race is even if you win you still remain in the rat race. Sorry for using the cliché but that’s true.
Moving out of the rat race doesn’t necessarily mean quitting the job. Moving out means detachment from the web of the daily chores & excessive involvement in mundane tasks. But staying focused towards your duties and responsibilities. Very much like Krishna preaches in Bhagwad Gita- ‘Stay like a lotus petal in pond.. wet yet dry. Involved yet detached.’

I know it’s not as simple as it sounds but let’s first understand the problem.The problem arises when you start comparing yourself with others and succumb to peer pressure. You always like to reach to the other person’s position(obviously if he’s at a higher level) by just looking at the face value of his position and ignoring your strengths and weaknesses. You always want to be appreciated by others, approved by others. You have always believed that the better people feel about you, the better you can feel about yourself. However, you may have never really considered that the opposite of this belief must hold equally and unhappily true, and that is: The less you are approved by others, the more alone and uncertain you feel. This helps to explain why you think you have to please people as well as why you resent those you feel you must please. Being approved by others has become a strange kind of life-support system wherein, after a lifetime of depending on it, you unconsciously believe that there won't be life without someone there to approve you into existence. Just the opposite is true. The more you depend on others to confirm you to yourself, the less real life you have of your own.
It is our fear of being alone and in doubt, of wanting to feel certain that what we are doing is right, that compels us to seek the approval of others. So this tells us that the chief cause of why our lives so often wind up in the hands of others is not that they are superior or that the world is too strong for us, but that we don't want to face the uncertainty and aloneness that we think we are too weak to bear. This is the real cause of all of our wrong relationships in life: We have been betrayed by a belief in our own weakness. And unless we overcome ourselves we’ll continue to find ourselves in the rat race- running towards an unknown goal.

The conscious refusal to go along with your weakness is what invokes and finally delivers real inner-strength. This new kind of strength gradually becomes the cornerstone of a true individual existence -- the life you've always wanted. This may sound philosophical. The stakes are actually eternal -- but self-victory is as certain as the fact that light always triumphs over darkness. If you will stay in the middle of this struggle for true self-possession, not asserting your individuality but allowing it to flourish and to blossom -- bearing what you must bear by refusing to submit yourself to negative, self-betraying influences -- you will come to know the highest approval that Life can award. You won't be jealous of anyone coz you know you'll definitely get what you deserve. Reality itself will approve you. And when it does, all of your struggles (and races) will become a thing of the past. You will possess yourself. No one around you will suspect that you now live in a new kind of bright inner-world; a world that is always on your terms because your terms and the terms of this happy new inner-world are never in conflict. You have won the race. You have won your own life.